EPUB - What Sparked The Change in Me by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-07-24T15:01:50+00:00

Chapter 8:

The “OUCH!” Areas

“Those ‘it’s not going to matter anyway’ decisions affect your life for a long time.”

Every life coach and health coach has to have faced struggles to understand what it feels like to need help from others. There are some areas that I refer to as “ouch!” areas. These specific areas have been the most painful for me to grow in. The first big “ouch!” area for me has been finances.

I’ve had so many awful financial experiences that deciding which one has created the greatest struggle in my life is hard. For that reason, I might tell you about a few of them. Feel free to judge.

For me, one recurring and straightforward experience involved a computer and a popular checkbook software program. When my husband entered our checks into the checking account, he seemed as if he would turn the volume up on the computer so that the cash register sound effects would ring throughout the house. I felt haunted by the piercing “CHA-CHING” of the cash register, whether I was fixing dinner, watching TV, doing laundry, or hanging out with our daughters. I thought my husband was turning up the volume a little louder each time I heard it, so I would hear to it and feel guilty about all the money I had just spent.

So, my initial attempt to manage our finances was initiated based upon the hope that someday I wouldn’t have to deal with that CHA-CHING sound anymore. Just describing this experience makes my shoulders shudder, even now, as I remember that sound.

For many years, finances put me in an immediate state of stress. I often felt so stressed and focused on ensuring I paid all the bills perfectly that I wouldn’t even talk to my kids while completing the task. This process sometimes took hours and hours to complete.

My husband suggested that I make this task easier by entering payments into autopay. Still, I was stubborn about this because I wanted to control everything. I wanted to make sure that I paid each bill. I also wanted to leave myself the option of holding a payment if we didn’t have money in the checking account. That process right there was painfully intense and super stressful! It was the REAL DEAL every first Saturday of the month. I fear and feel that this unhealthy ritual has likely left emotional scars on my older daughters.

This intense financial paranoia within me, which I have just described, was brought about by one devastating economic trainwreck when we moved to Holbrook, Arizona. The initial circumstance that started the unfortunate chain of events and led to our financial demise was an unwritten and straightforward requirement that teachers who teach in Holbrook must live in Holbrook.

When the Holbrook School District first hired my husband and I, we resided in Snowflake.

We were both offered the contracts to teach in Holbrook with the stipulation to relocate to Holbrook. We wanted jobs, and so we naively agreed. Upon signing our contracts, we carried the burden of feeling rushed to sell our house.

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